By Whitney D’Armond, SeaShine Magazine Editor

Not long ago, my mother and SeaShineMag.com Contributor, Teresa Bedwell, shared word of a unique new young women’s home with me.  The name?  Saving Grace, Incorporated.  The location?  Rogers, Arkansas — my hometown.  The founders?  Kindhearted, empathetic Becky Shaffer and her supportive, equally caring husband, Kent.  Their mission?  To grant 18-24 year-old women a second chance at life by providing them with the basic tools and resources they so desperately need in order to move forward successfully in life.

Over the 4th of July weekend, I had the pleasure of walking the hallways of the Saving Grace home — a beautiful, warm and undeniably peaceful space.  And, while visiting, I met several of the young women living in the gorgeously decorated house.  Their bright smiles, innocent laughter and love for my mom’s cooking brought a smile to my lips that couldn’t be erased.  The following Sunday, I met the founder herself, Mrs. Becky Shaffer, who embodied all the beauty that the Saving Grace girls had mirrored during my visit.  Since those meetings, I haven’t been able to stop talking about Saving Grace — literally (ask my husband)!, and I haven’t been able to shake the desire to share more about the organization with you!  So, I prepared a l-o-n-g list of questions for Becky, who was kind enough to sit down and answer each one, and here we are!  If you have a moment (I promise it’s worth it), watch the video below as well.  It still brings tears to my eyes.  Happy reading, my SeaShine friends.

SS: From the founder’s mouth herself, what is Saving Grace, and how did the concept – a young women’s safe home – come about?

BS: I grew up in a very dysfunctional family.  My father came home only long enough get my mother pregnant again.  Mama was emotionally disturbed and was either violently abusive or in bed asleep.  I learned at a very early age that God was my daddy, and we talked daily.  At the age of 12, per a judge’s order, I was removed from the home and placed in a children’s home.  I graduated from the local Christian school, and at the end of the summer, I was expected to leave.  I went to college – mostly because I needed a place to live.  I was in survival mode, and I quickly got into a relationship.  By Christmas I found myself married and expecting my first child.

Kent and I have been married for 22 years now, and God has blessed our marriage and our family.  We had only been married less than two years when we ended up becoming house parents at a children’s home, taking in troubled teenage girls.  Through the years, we saw the same trend with the young women we were serving; they too were not ready to face life on their own as an adult.  It was about six years ago that God began to plant the dream of [what’s now called] Saving Grace in my heart.  I began researching and as I found something I liked that would work for a transitional living program I saved it on my computer under a file I called, “Rebekah’s Hope”.

SS:  What event, person, etc. really set the plans in motion and allowed you establish Saving Grace in NWA?  I’ve been told that an outline of your hopes and dreams for Saving Grace remained hidden “in a file on your computer” for quite some time.

BS: Kent and I believed that we would start this home at the children’s home we were working for in Northeastern Oklahoma.  We moved from there to Northwest Arkansas in June of 2008 for a much needed break from full time ministry.  In the Fall of 2008 we began to ask our small Bible study group and our pastor to pray for direction… that we would clearly see if this is what God wanted us to do.  In January of 2009 Kent and I prayed together before heading our separate ways to work, and we asked God to send us a sign if this was really what He wanted me to do.  I went to work and was visiting with a customer, and we began talking about our similarities in working with abused and neglected children over the years.  I shared with her my dream of doing a transitional living house.  A few hours later she came back to the store in our break room and had a large sign that said “Amazing Grace”.  She shared that she felt prompted by the Holy Spirit to bring this to me… not knowing what Kent and I had prayed earlier that morning.  I took the sign to Kent, and we cried and prayed together — having no idea what God was about to do!

A month later I called the Center for Nonprofits (an old hospital that has been turned into offices for nonprofits in Northwest Arkansas) and asked for office space – a very small office space as we had no money, no 501(c)3 and pretty much a dream in my heart and a file on my computer!  I shared with them what we wanted to do, and they asked if I had time to come and look at the old convent space where the nuns lived.  I had to ask for directions because we’d not lived here long.  It turned out they were [located] less than 2 miles from my house!

Kent met me there and the building couldn’t have been more perfect for what we were doing.  The building has 14 resident rooms with sinks in each room (so each guest can have great personal living space), and it feels like a small apartment with 4 full bathrooms on the resident side.  It has a large living room, utility room, pantry and rooms for office space.  We also have a large room, which had been the [nuns’] chapel, and is now a classroom with computer labs.  AMAZING AND PERFECT!!  Handpicked by God!!!

[Needless to say, we took the spot and] moved forward from there.  The nonprofit we were to lease from forgave a large amount of our lease for the first year… We had hundreds of volunteers and volunteer hours from churches and different organizations who came daily to help get the building ready for residents.  We applied for our 501(c)3 and received it “approved” in only 6 weeks!  God brought together people to be on our founding board and began to bless Saving Grace in miraculous ways!

SS:  Tell us about the girls Saving Grace ministers to.  What are the circumstances they are striving to overcome when they arrive at your facility, and how do you see them grow and mature while they’re under your guidance?

BS: The sad truth about kids aging out of foster care across the United States is heart breaking.  These are our children.  They are products of the most powerful nation in the world, and we fail them in unspeakable ways.

Did you know that 80% [of foster children] go back into the system within the first year of aging out because of pregnancy, jail and homelessness?  According to our social worker, other young adults are finding themselves back in the system as a result of:

• Low Wages: Most live well below the poverty level—females at 59% of poverty & males 99%
• Low Rates of Higher Education: 2% versus 24% earn a college degree compared to general population
• High Criminal Activity: 35% are arrested for a crime
• High Death Rate: Suicide rate is 17 times the rate of peers
• High Birth Rate: 3 times rate of peers. 32% have a child of their own. 3% are currently paying child support for their own child now in foster care
• Need for Mental Health Care: Suffer from PTSD at a rate 6 times the public, a higher rate than war veterans
• Lack of Supportive Relationships: “Many leave foster care ‘without any lasting personal connections, support, or life skills.’” – says Ruth Massinga, President of Casey Family Programs*

When the girls move in we connect them with three mentors (Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, “…a cord of three is not quickly broken”) and these women surround the girls with unconditional love and support.  We also connect them with a Christian counselor and begin [teaching them] “basic life skills” and [allow them to create their own] “life books” (a scrapbook with a story of their life in the pages).

Watching them grow is a most precious honor.  As they begin to trust us, they share from the quietest places in their hearts and for some of them this may be the first time they’ve every spoken out loud the sorrow they’ve been through.  Some are emotionally stunted and seem to only have matured to a certain age — most around 12 years old in their development, due to a violent act against them. As they begin to heal and God restores them, they bloom, and it is, as I said before, a most precious honor to watch.

SS:  Saving Grace really is different in that your home is not “free” so to speak.  You instill in the girls responsibility and faith.  How do you go about that, and do the girls ever rebel?  If so, how do you handle that?

BS: The girls are expected to participate in our rent incentive program which allows them to learn basic life skills (reading a recipe, balancing a checkbook, laundry…) while going to church, learning to depend on the Almighty Counselor and connecting with their mentors.  They eventually pay a small amount of rent in order to teach them to take responsibility for themselves – so that when the time comes for them to get their own place, they won’t be in as much shock went rent and utilities bills roll in!  If the girls fail to participate, they are put on a probationary period and are held accountable on a much closer level, [without] as much freedom, and then they are given another chance.  If they choose not to do that probationary period, they sometimes leave.  In most cases, they are welcome to reapply to Saving Grace.

SS:  What role do you play in these young girls’ lives?  What are the obstacles you face as you serve as their leader and what are the rewards?

BS: The girls usually greet me with a hug as I enter the building in the morning!  They are pretty happy to see me, especially when they’ve taken care of doing their chores in the house. I do have to be the “mama” sometimes.  I just try to end [difficult] conversations with love and affirmation for the things [the girls are] doing right. The challenge is that I wear a lot of hats, and, at times, I have to neglect one aspect of my job to cover another.  I thank God every day that He allows me to do this.  I am rarely discouraged, and I know that is due to the number of prayer gladiators who lift me and SG up to the Maker of the universe on a daily basis!

SS:  The Northwest Arkansas community has really banned together to support the efforts of Saving Grace.  From sponsoring girls’ rooms (and decorating them, too!) to donating food, from cleaning your facility to mentoring girls (and literally bringing them into their families).  What has most overwhelmed you as you’ve seen the support roll in?

BS: There are days when I feel like I’m getting a drink with a fire hose!  God’s blessings have never stopped pouring in by way of the amazing people in this area.  These individuals are from all walks of life – from the amazing woman who so generously gave us the money to open our doors (January 6^th) 5 months before our intended opening date (May 1^st), to the folks who volunteered every day due to being out of work.  Beautiful hearts full of generosity!

SS:  What needs do you have currently have?  Are there any that our SeaShine readers could provide?

BS: We always ask that folks lift us up daily to The Father and ask for His protection, direction and blessing.  We are also asking that folks consider giving monthly to Saving Grace.  We are pushing to get 2,000 supporters in 2010!  We have a long way to go!  You can give on our website or mail it to us.  We also have a need for items such as copy paper, school supplies (for the girls going to college this fall and the ones we will take who are still in high school), 8X8 scrapbooking albums and photo mounting supplies (for the girls’ life books).  We could also use a few bikes for the girls to ride to work and to school.

SS:  I understand you have your first pregnant young lady in your home now, and I got the privilege to meet her.  (And, I don’t say that lightly.  Such a sweet girl.)  Has walking through pregnancy been difficult for you and/or the other girls in the house?

BS: Our young resident, who is a mother, is quite a trooper.  Pregnancy is really what keeps her focused.  Life continues to happen around her and the choices she makes are in a lot of ways, no more or less difficult because of her expecting a baby.  I would imagine that when the time comes for her to deliver and then to bring the baby home…things will look and sound very different [in the Saving Grace building]!  I think the other young women see the difficulty she has ahead and use this opportunity to learn that it isn’t going to be easy for her when the baby (boy, I might add ) arrives.

SS:  How would you describe the overall relationship dynamic amongst the girls in the home?

BS: The girls really act as if they are sisters.  You mess with one of them; you mess with all of them!  At the same time, they fuss sometimes like “real” sisters, too! They love each other and do all they can to support one another.  When one leaves due to bad choices, they whole group mourns the loss of a sister in the house.  They all continue to stay in touch.

SS:  If there’s someone out there reading this article who has a passion similar to yours and would like to form a foundation like Saving Grace in their own community, what advice would you give them?

BS: If there is someone out there who would like to do something similar, call me!  I’d love to share with you what we are doing and do all that I can to support you!  We need to reach out to all the young people who have been forgotten and do all we can to change the outcome of these statistics!

SS:  What now?  Now that the paint has dried on the walls and the first set of girls have settled into their rooms (some of whom graduated this season, too), what do you see in Saving Grace’s future?

BS: We continue to pray for God’s direction.  We said at first we would not take young women who were pregnant, yet we believe God is saying “Yes, you will,” and now we have taken our first expecting mama.  I pray as God continues to bless Saving Grace we can open a Family Care Cottage that will only house mama’s and their young children, and they too will participate in our program.  We also continue to pray about opening up a facility for young men, knowing that their statistics are far worse than that of the girls.

* Additional national statistics, available through the Annie E. Casey Foundation